Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Today, is (Day さん)

Cos you know I'll walk a thousand miles
if I could just see you, tonight
(Random song of the day)

(Actually I was supposed to finish the blogskin and everything by Monday, but these days I've been feeling really out of sorts. So I just put everything together in one entry.
... Fine I don't really feel like talking much so, enjoy the sad mood. Lollll.)

Day 1:

I told myself I wouldn't cry today. Anything, but cry. Cos once I started, I won't stop.
I just don't know why tears just streamed down when I heard his voice.
When he called with that, 'Hi darling!' tone he always uses with me, I stoned.
I knew I had so much to say. But I didn't. I felt just happy. That he reached there,
he was fine with his surroundings, and he's safe. That's all it matters.

But there's 19 more days to go.

... 19 days' a long time. I hope by the end of 19 days, ____ would have changed.
(Courage, どうぞ!~)

Day 2:

When I woke up today, I laid in bed and stared at the wall blankly, and half an hour passed.
I just tossed, and turned, and tossed, and turned. And I sighed.
I hid all of Darling's things in his box, and moved his pictures to a folder I don't usually touch.
I dragged myself to the shower, sat down on the bathroom floor, and I cried.
I can't stand myself sometimes for being such a crybaby.

Day 3:

The only thought I had when I awoke was that tomorrow was Thursday,
and it kinda irked me a little, knowing what was on that day. (Only Darling & I know, lol)
but other than that I felt fine, until the postman (woman) came.
Usually I would be happy when she delivered my registered articles, but today it made me sadder.
I remembered how Darling would always snatch the packages from me, cos I said to him once,
"The best part of buying stuff is opening them and trying them at home!"
But today, he wasn't here with me to share my joy so I just threw it aside.
It totally didn't help that I indulged myself in sappy love songs and kept blanking out.
I hope everything sad I've felt these days (& in the coming 18 days left) would be exchanged for happiness I'll be able to feel when he comes home!


So, I changed the blogskin. So many people have started using the moving script thing,
so it was really getting kinda boring seeing similar things everywhere.
The quote on the picture was something I found online, and if I ever find nicer ones,
I'll change the quote on the picture so it won't be the same forever.

I shouldn't be looking at pictures but I can't resist, ugh! Hate myself for being so contradictive.
Dear, I miss you! Can you please come back soon..