December

Seeing these situations, never thought there was one day I'd experience the same. Dad's in the hospital as I am typing this.
I don't even know if I should be blogging for the world to see, but I am tired of keeping everything inside.
Yesterday, I cried so hard that my eyes swelled & my double eyelids disappeared.
It just felt like everything inside had finally taken its' toil on me, I was so tired of wearing a mask for the world to see.
Pretending to smile when I am crying, pretending to be happy when I am sad.
I guess it really does feel better to let the tears flow, even if my eyelids disappeared for awhile.

Daddy just underwent an operation today, and when I saw him just now he was still nauseous from the anesthetic.
Not a good feeling watching your own kin retching his contents out, and he's barely had anything to eat today as he had to have an empty stomach for the anesthetic.
Anyhow.. Still have to wait for Doctor's instructions tomorrow. DADDY, FIGHTING!!

Since I decided to update this space more: Here are pictures from my Kuala Lumpur trip in November (I know, I know. Pictures from my Hong Kong/Batam/Bintan/Sunway Lagoon Trip are not even up yet)


Relative's house there. No lift, it was the stairs for us everyday. It reminded me of old-styled HDB flats in Singapore.




Almost everytime I take a picture with Mummy her eyes are closed/she's not smiling.


Moment we stepped into Genting it started getting reaaaally misty, and rained.




Gorgeous view from this temple on the way down from Genting. Clean, crisp mountain air.




Mom always does these weird poses.




The last day we had dinner at this street hawker place. Happiest day for me: since we were headed home.
To be honest, I've went to Malaysia so many times this year it's not very exciting for me anymore. This trip was my third time; and relatives always bring us to the same places.


Will do a backlog travel next time! Now.. I need to sleep. Tomorrow's hospital time again.
I love you daddy, get well soon

Crazy Shopaholic #2

I think I've kinda went a lil bit crazy on shopping this month (Under the excuse of buying for Lunar New Year ahem)


Holga lenses for DSLR: Got these even though I've got a Holga, think it'll be pretty interesting.
$44 (for the coloured ones) from Spreehouse (But spree has ended as of now)


ASOS Square Skinny Sleeve Top: Received this last week, but colour is more grey then expected. Pffft.


Dotted Flare Skirt: I really like the 60s vibe it gives out.
Orange Shirtdress: Wearing this for Lunar New Year since it suits the mood heh


I'm still apprehensive about wearing the backless dress out though I've paid for it. HAHA





My crazy obsession with lingerie ahem. Apart from these I've also bought (*cough7cough*) pairs of brassiere. I know, I know. I probably don't have so much boobs but: just couldn't resist!

Also not forgetting for the boys :)


All from ASOS: Since the free shipping promo still stands, might as well right? :D


Plus these few lacquers! I've always had this thing for foil/glitter polishes.
Skycrapper, Teenage Dream, Muppets Minis' - all from OPI.

I really, really need a seperate bank account for my non-existent savings.

好想你

"我喜欢你 叫我的名字
一副若无其事的 又像公开的密秘
好几次我怕会来不及 还没抱够你"

Jolin Tsai - 好想你.

An apology may mean nothing, it still has to be said regardless.
Everytime I make you sad, I feel like I've done something bad because you don't deserve this at all.
Funny how fate works, because a few years back, I would have never imagined myself in this situation.
Never say never, huh?

I miss you like how you're missing me.
It feels right when I am in your arms, when you're whispering things in my ear.
If I drop everything and go now.. What will happen?
I'm just scared wondering how long it'll last. You're right about one thing: I can never know the true thoughts of a man's mind.

By the way.. I got a pay raise. Woohoo?

Bintan

I can't forget the night the stars filled our sight and the words whispered to me that night, the nights your arms were around me tight.

Bintan is a nice (albeit expensive, since they charge SGD) place to relax and chill out at, but even so, it's the company that matters.
Though we didn't do anything during the 2D1N trip, I've found things that make my heart skip a beat.
I think I'm silly sometimes, always losing myself in my own thoughts.


The hotel we stayed at was Bintan Lagoon Resort: I don't think it was as bad as people make out to be.
Quite clean and friendly staff - proficient in English too. We had problems with our room key, and they replaced a new room for us FOC.


This was our messy room. Not as tiny as I thought, with a balcony out.
(Wifi is like $9.50 an hour though. WTF?)


But abit kenna cheated by the beach, leh. Water not green one :(


This was what we spent most of our time doing. Awesome.


If you were to ask me which night I would remember as the most romantic night - this would be it.

Every night my fingers hover above the button, I'm scared to press it down.
Scared of your rejection, scared of how I'd hurt you, scared.
I miss you, but I'm scared to miss you. I'm not supposed to be missing you.

Cos all it brings is pain. Love is pain.
It is.