Blessed

So. I sprained my ankle while escaping from a cockroach in the middle of the night yesterday.
I know, it's also the most ridiculous story I heard of myself because it totally doesn't makes sense. At all.
(Just so you know: It's bloody disgusting to wake up to a cockroach not 3 inches from your face, then have it clamber down your arm. Of course I jumped outta my bed. And the next thing I knew, P-A-I-N. Lol.)

Anyhow, in light of things, I am feeling vaguely blessed.
One offered to be my lunch delivery guy even when he's really busy (after laughing at my predicament, nonetheless. Thanks Joel.)
One, even though he was tired out by work yesterday, woke up every 15 minutes to massage my ankle (While chiding how careless I was to end up this way. Thanks my boy ♥)
One anxiously scrambled about trying to find home remedies for me (That's my very lovely mom. Love love her ♥)
And one last silly guy cabbed to my house, in the middle of the night no less, just to see how I was after he heard the news. (I don't deserve it, but thank you for your concern, L :)

I've always thought to myself that I've gathered some pretty good karma my past life, which is why I'm able to meet all these nice people my current life.
These people who love me, care for me, shower me with concern, as much as I do them. It feels nice to have your care replicated back to you, sometimes.

There's a saying which only after this incident that I found true: You realize your good fortune only after your misfortune befalls. :)


Here's to hoping my ankle gets better by Monday! :)

Smile, Liping!

Alot of thoughts running amok in my head recently. (Wait. I think thoughts always run amok inside my mind. Anyway...)
Twitter has had me thinking more than I should lately. What I want, what I need, what I seek.
Alot of crazy decisions and random musings and what not, not sure if that's a good thing.

I've always been one to let my heart lead my mind, and I'm glad (I think.) I stopped my last rash decision get too far.
It was a mistake that I let the feelings carry too far, and inside my heart, and fell for him..
Everyone thought it was a mistake. You don't know him enough, they said.
So? Isn't a relationship about getting to know one another on a deeper scale?
I stopped myself not because I didn't know him enough. I didn't let it stop me when I first knew J, why should I let it stop me again?
I only stopped myself because I was scare of the consequences this decision would incur. He's already been hurt enough, why should I let him be hurt anymore than he has?
I broke his heart, I'm sorry about that. But me acting indifferent does not mean I do not care.
Sometimes I just hope he can tell me some things, and not carry everything on his own. But then again, why should he do so now that I've broken his heart. Lol...

If anyone has to be hurt, I'd rather it be me than anyone else. I can't stand anyone else getting more hurt than they already have, they don't deserve it. I do.

@Onewlicia: To be indifferent doesn't mean unfeeling, sometimes it is just a tool to avoid being hurt.

@ZodiacFacts: #ZodiacFacts As a #Cancer,You let your heart rule your head, and you can have trouble making rational, detached decisions.

@ZodiacFacts: #ZodiacFacts As a #Cancer,you may have a habit of hiding your true feelings and strong emotions under a rather hard shell.

@Onewlicia: 面对一些令巨蟹介意 不开心的事时 巨蟹表面风平浪静好像没有什么 可事后巨蟹一定在某个角落暗暗咒骂 甚至后悔自己怎么没有表露出来 这就是巨蟹 冰冷的外壳 伪装得好像什么事都影响不了它 可实际都暗暗藏在心里 愤怒的 难过的 伤心的 。
When faced with unhappiness, Cancers tend to act like everything is fine on the surface, but inside, a turmoil of emotions always occur. This is how a Cancer's shell works: Acting like nothing can ever affect them, hiding everything in their heart; angry, sad, hurtful..

@ChineseLQuotes: 每当你说“没事”的时候，心里或多或少都藏着点事。
Everytime you say you're okay, there's bound to be something not okay inside.

@stanlee1992: 我对你还是有那种感觉，比普通朋友还要好。

I've always acted like I was indifferent to everything, and so far no one has managed to read inside me.
One of my ex mentioned that my mind was one with a locked door: If I didn't want anyone to understand me, they would never have the key to go inside my mind to see my true thoughts. He's right about that.
Min said I'm like Meile in Love keeps going; always so obeying to others and doing what the other half wishes. I think that's right too, haha.
Whatever the other half wishes, I'll try as much as I can to give. It's hard for me not to commit 100% into a relationship.
Zhi once mentioned to me, asking me not to give too much to myself when with another man.
But how do I do that? Once I'm in, I'm in a 100%. Same for friendships.
If they need me now, I'll go over regardless..
And maybe that's why I'm always blurring boundaries between me and guys.

I'm trying to maintain the border, but since the line has blurred, it's difficult.
Ah, fuck. Decisions, decisions. Please make the right one, and stop hurting people.


If you know me long enough: I love taking pictures of beautiful skies to set as my wallpaper.
Seeing such beautiful views calm me, somehow.


A picture Greg took of me the last time we had dinner together, it was a birthday treat from him for me. Miss hanging out with them, these guys. At least I'm going to Sunway Lagoon with Chong this October, the rest of them abandoned the plan. :(


I secretly like that I have random mood-swings, at least it doesn't take me much to be crying one minute and laughing to the next.


I want to be happy, and I firmly believe I will be. Smile, Liping!

Intuition

I knew this all along.
I knew that whichever way I walked, whatever choice I made, I was bound to have regrets, and I was right.

I'm sorry I hurt him, I'm sorry I broke his heart, I'm sorry even if he never ever sees this.
I know I shouldn't regret my actions. I'll just have to toughen up and make do with things, regardless of how they turn out.

Ah, such a cryptic post today, huh? What a post to mark the revamp of my blog.

"Where's the 'Good', in Goodbye?"

#Cancer

I didn't realize in a span of a single day, so many things would happen and things would have changed that much.
It's kinda weird.. But in a weird sorta way, I asked for it.
I keep recalling this particular tweet I saw:

RT: @ZodiacFacts: As a #Cancer,don't Get too affectionate too quickly. Use your intuition to read his or her signals. And keep a safe and respectful distance.

I guess I failed in that aspect, & grew too close.
I was always craving for attention, and when I got it - it's not what I want.
Zhizhi told me, this year I've actually got 桃花运 (Translated literally, it's Peach Blossom, but actually refers to Love Luck in Mandarin.)
Just that, it's all bad ones. (*sweat) I don't really think they're bad ones, but just not suited for me I suppose?
One's married, the other's leaving soon. Who are they to leave me any promises?

I've always thought I was a stubborn woman. Funny how that seems so easily rebutted by Zhizhi.
I've never had a friend like her before, who challenges all my thoughts and actions.
It's interesting, and I kinda love her for it. Slowly but surely, it's like she's peeling me off layer by layer, and showing the real me out. I like it.
She says, I shouldn't be so tender-hearted. I always thought I wasn't.. But I realize words tend to sway me easily.
Funny how that happens so easily these days.

Ah, this week's been so long. I'm glad it's over, and my trip couldn't have been at a better timing!
Oh, I also got myself a Sony TX-5. HEHEHE.


Touchscreen, Scratch-Proof, Freeze-Proof, and BEST. OF. ALL - WATERPROOF HAHAHA


I have to say - the first time I was really fucking apprehensive dropping it into the water k!
(Imagine the first time you drop it in and you ruin it utterly lol)
(If you're wondering, this is a supposedly artistic picture of me dropping the camera into a pail and then shaking it.)


I pretty like the TX-5 outta water, to be honest. It does tend to over-saturate pictures abit, but it's handy enough. This was a great day and we were outdoors playing badminton! (To sustain my ongoing diet wtf)


Superly loves her, I think she brings out the maternal side in me, to be honest. I super love it when she lets me carry her up and she hugs me awwww :)
(Everytime Boyf carries her she smacks him on the face HAHAHAHA)


A big, cheery picture to end this post. I think I'm happier after ranting, I think I know what I want.
Oh well - a full day tomorrow: Kbox with Grandma & Shimin, Chinatown, dinner with colleagues AND Transformers at midnight with Boyf!
Sounds super awesome, don't you think? HEHEHE

June 25th

Today marks the 10th death anniversary of my Grandfather. Has it really been that long?

I don't have much memories of him, but he took care of me from a very young age, with my grandmother, when Mom was working in a factory then.
He always sat in that rocking chair of his, & till this day, Grandma still keeps it well.
I know Grandma misses him alot these years. She's always whining about how Granddad doesn't visit her in her dreams.
He loved watching action movies - he always got agitated watching them. I think the phrase 'Sitting on the edge on your seat' really applied for him.
Still remember, at his funeral - when I saw him lying there, and he looked just the same as he ever were, just paler. Somehow I can't get it out of my head.
There's this particular memory I have etched inside my head of me, Grandma & Grandpa laughing & having fun. I always recall that memory first whenever I think of Grandpa.
It makes me smile, and it makes me sad.
He doted on me. I believe I was his & Grandma's favourite grandchild. I still do.

Grandpa, how are you up there? I hope you're having fun.
Don't worry, I'll use all the love you've doted on me on Grandma. I'm not gonna let her be lonely. Love you, Grandpa.


Simplest things are hardest to achieve. Don't you think? (Link: 43 things)

Flawed

越喜欢一个人 越愿意找到优点 越讨厌 越容易看到缺点
The more you like someone, the more you're willing to conceal his flaws.
The more you dislike someone, the more you're willing to expose his flaws.

My heart wants to take the lead but my mind is foolishly frightened.
What do you want, Liping?

Loot post #1

I realize I am most definately one who needs to spend time at home at least once a week.
To just stay at home, chilling around, reading a book, in my own room.. Love that.
Feels like ever since Boyf 'moved' into his new house I've been denied of this privilege. Hmmm..

Anyhow.. Since my loots from various sprees just arrived today (Thanks to Mr. Postman ) Imma do a loot post! Nothing much this time, just some rings~


Kenna cheated by the image on the Forever21 website only
The cross necklace, although pretty, is so tiny
I am totally in love with the Plane Geometry Rings though


And as you can tell.. I'm kinda obsessed with animal rings at the moment. Tiger, alligator, owls... You name it, I (almost) have it (all).. Oops?

I'm feeling really kinda shitty right now. Me & Boyf had a pretty big fight just now.
I told him he has got to stop making promises he cannot keep.
Why do men always say things they cannot do? I absolutely abhor that. Can't do it? Don't fucking say it. Simple.
You know, out of all the men in my life, only 2 has kept all the promises they told me: Joel & Greg.
I just don't know why my best friends can do it and not you.
Anyhow, there was a lot of shouting and crying and although we're fine, I'm not even sure he understands why I got so mad. MEN.

Last but not least, a really cute picture to end it off..

This is Boyf's littlest sister. And I'm pretty sure you can figure it out what she's doing.
Off to bed, hopefully you who's reading this will have a better day then I am.

Cooling Day

Look around you. We are living in a beautiful garden city. We have a low crime rate. Our dollar is strong.
From what we were, we've come such a long way, to be a safe, beautiful first-world country.
I think we should be grateful for what we have and not bite the hand that feeds us.

Some are making decisions based on what they are blinded by. But still, I feel that we should not believe some who have spout only words but done nothing.
Don't be easily deceived by merely words.
Shouldn't we put our trust in those who have proved themselves to us?
Yes, they made mistakes. But no one is perfect, and they bothered to apologise. Isn't that what matters?

So many have said harsh words. So many have biased opinions. Others are nonchalant about this.
This is not a decision to be taken lightly. This is not a game. This is our future.

I hope on Sunday, we will not be regretting the choices we made as one.
I worry.

Ah, this has been such a cryptic post. But I suppose most Singaporeans would have realized what I'm talking about.

I hope we make a right decision.

You know what they say...

... Absence really makes the heart grow founder.
Ah, I miss boyfriend.

How much do you value your heart?

If I ever lose my heart again, I would not give my heart so easily the next time.

[Edit] Um. I totally did not mean to mean the above in a morbid manner.
Thanks for your concern people, but me and boyf are fine. (Except for occasional pillow fights)
I just meant. I'm not prone to giving my heart away so easily.
Because I've been seeing alot of these things happen these days. A rebound relationship (of sorts) all around. And I don't get it.
I've been with boyf for 4 years, almost 5 now. And if the relationship should ever come to an end, I just don't think I'll have the patience to be together with another guy.
To learn someone all over again; his character, his personality, what he likes, what he doesn't....
What if it doesn't work right? Should I even bother to do so much?
Why should I put in so much effort only to have my heart broken?

It's funny though. Sometimes I really crave the feeling of puppy love... Sweet, innocent, no strings attached.
Everything, now that we've grown up, comes with a price.
I really want to go back to my seconday school days. Those, were really the best time of my life.
If I had to make a decision to choose between him & this.. I know I'll make a selfish decision.

Ah. Enough of rambling. This was supposed to be a short edit but I ended up rambling so much rubbish.



I think what this space needs is more of my face lol.[/Edit]